A week today, I'll be thirty. The age every woman dreads, I am actually looking forward to. It was not always this way. Two years ago, I was dreading it too. I was no where close to where I was supposed to be at thirty: married with kids, making six figures, on my way to CEO-dom. I remember crying the summer of twenty five, on the way to an Arcade Fire concert, about my life not going as planned. That was the summer my twenty year old self had imagined I would be married. Twenty five year old me had not even a prospect in sight. I vowed that summer I was going to do something about it. It was time to get my life back on track! And although I have always believed in fate, fate had lead me astray, it was time to become the master of my own destiny.
Fate has a funny way of kicking you in the ass sometimes. Especially when you don't want to listen to her.
At thirty, I'm still single, I'm unsure about having babies, and I started a new career from the very bottom {actually I started 3 years ago, and I am finally not at the very bottom, but still very close} .
So then why am I looking forward to my thirties? Although they didn't go as expected, I can't complain {too much} about the past ten years. I had many firsts in my life, in my twenties. I travelled to Europe, I graduated from university, twice, I bought my own place. I partied so hard, that I promised to never drink again {but broke that promise not too long after}. I quit my job, changed my career and went back to school. I lived in Manhattan, I travelled to Paris alone, twice. I met up with my best Friend in Barcelona for my 25th birthday. I went to Africa. I saw where my parents grew up, I had purple hair. I made mistakes. I learned. I laughed, I loved, I grew up.
And now at 30, it's time to apply all that I learned. No excuses. I'm a big girl now.
I started a blog last November, listing 30 things I wanted to by 30. I lost interest in the blog half way through December. I still have goals, both personal and professional, but putting a time limit on the goals is just setting myself up for disaster. I will get it all done, everything important enough, that is. Its not about the destination, its about the journey. This is what I've learned.
They say the thirties are the new twenties. I am not sure if that's true. To me the thirties are the continuation of the adventure, with a stronger mind and a bigger heart, less mistakes {or atleast less time spent crying over them}, and taking the time out to smell the roses. It's about me, and my life, and what I want. Choosing to be happy. I had fun in my twenties. But I want to enjoy my thirties. If I get married, I will get married, {I still want to get married} but I will not shed any more tears if I don't, because I know now, the way I expect it to or not, the adventure continues, and thats not a bad thing.
Only one more week to go.
xoxo,
me.
